It's been a little over a week since my audition, and I've decompressed quite a bit. I've thought through much, have begun practicing again, even had a conductor friend come over and listen to me and give feedback, and I don't feel like an absolute failure anymore.
Something that has helped with that has been others sharing their audition/performance stories. Eric Edberg, professor of cello at DePauw University shared his performance woes in a recent blog entry entitled Glorious Mistakes. I was rather surprised and touched to hear that my writing had inspired someone to share their own. In reading his experience, I felt a sense of camaraderie, and understanding. It was a big encouragement to me-- thank you Eric!
Also, my dear friend Sarah Botham directed me towards a blog entry she wrote entitled A Hero's Life that I had somehow missed out on. Again, I found myself incredibly encouraged (and also laughing quite a bit). Sarah is out on the audition circuit too, and she and I both went to IU at the same time, so we get each other's woes. Actually, all musicians get my woes--it's great to know there are others who totally understand, and want to encourage me.
The encouragement has been great for me. I've been enjoying practicing this week, and am looking forward to two auditions coming up in about a month and a half or so. Do please feel free to comment with your story, or link to your blog entry of your audition/performance woes and whatnot. I'd love to read more!